Carbs of the Huge Manatee


Austin. And the rest of Texas. It's all “special” in one way or another. Coming Soon!

Black Cards

  • Austin recently changed its slogan from “Live Music Capital of The World” to “_____________ Capital of The World.”
  • Everything is bigger in Texas, including ____________.
  • I knew I wasn’t cool enough for The Domain when I saw ______________ and _____________ there in one afternoon.
  • Next month the Alamo Drafthouse is having a film festival of ______________ and ________________. I can’t wait to see the special menu for THAT!
  • “______________.” It tastes like home.
  • At Buffalo Exchange, I found an amazing deal on _____________ from the 1960’s.

White Cards

  • Another decent garage band.
  • Bitching about the cold when the temperature drops below 85 degrees.
  • Fire ant bite blisters that will not die.
  • Deep-fried… well, everything.
  • Dr Pepper.
  • Fucking Cedar Fever.
  • Greg Abbott’s wheelchair.
  • Guns. Lots of them.
  • Aggressive pan-handlers at every street corner.
  • Second-degree burns from your steering wheel.
  • Snotty baristas at Spider House.
  • Spinning under the Zilker Christmas Tree until you throw-up.