Black Cards
- “_______________ victims should make the best of a bad situation.” — Rick Santorum
- I’d like to subject the members of the Westboro Baptist Church to ________________. Repeatedly.
- It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, ________________, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses. Hit it.
- On Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, the main segment was a hard-hitting report on the dangers of _____________.
- The latest miracle verified by the Vatican is a statue whose eyes bleed when in the presence of ________________.
- The most awkward thing about ________________, is ______________.
White Cards
- (½ * your age) + 7
- Being not merely Pro-Choice, but actively Pro-Abortion.
- Comedy shows doing better reporting than “real news.”
- Inappropriately handling your ex-girlfriend’s underthings before returning them to her.
- Listening to country music backwards.
- Mexican food in Minnesota.
- Psychiatrists Without Borders.
- So-called “Nice Guys” and their entitlement issues.
- Spaying and neutering irresponsible pet owners.
- Stick figure porn.
- The smell of sex.
- Wearing hot, but incredibly painful, shoes.