WTF?
Engage in corporate synergy and grow the revenue steam by investing in the Business Expansion Pack 1. Coming Soon!
Black Cards
- At the company Holiday party I got a bit wasted and attempted __________ with our intern.
That was written warning #2.
- I got the job even though my resume listed my last position as “Senior Director of ______________ and ______________.”
- They described themselves as a startup with _____________ and _____________. This can’t end well.
- This is Bob in accounting. I need to talk to you about this $1,700 charge for ____________ at Sergio’s House of ____________.
- We must build on our momentum using broad strategic initiatives while ___________ to become worldclass in __________.
- When upper management started talking about __________, I had to fight to keep from laughing. Or screaming.
White Cards
- 66 degrees inside. 96 degrees outside.
- A winning, aggressive culture that refuses to lose.
- Beer thirty.
- Building compelling programs to drive customer and partner success.
- Emails made solely of buzzwords with no actual semantic content.
- Having a celebratory potluck because the boss is a cheap fucker who won’t spring for lunch.
- Hoping that HR doesn’t ever view your IM logs.
- Increasing e-penetration.
- Not trying to boil the ocean.
- Sex in the copy room.
- Stealing from your co-worker’s personal stash of K-Cups.
- The five year plan of the week.
